What About My Heart?
by Inky Cx
Summary: Mihael, help me. I'm drowning. The demons. They're winning. And I'm just sitting here. Letting them. Help me. Please. (Somewhat AU)


**I've been listening to music again can you tell? Yet, another one-shot based off a song. I'm not sure if you guys like this stuff, but here it is anyways. I'm not quite sure where this came from, I just found some lyrics and started writing and boom. It is written as a letter from Matt to Mello after Mello left him at Wammys. **

**Disclaimer: **I dont own the wonderful Death Note or _Can You Feel My Heart _by _Bring Me the Horizon._

**Warnings: **Language, suicidal thoughts/hints.

Dear Mihael,

_"Can you hear the silence?"_

Can you Mihael? Can you hear the silence? I've waited her patiently, silently I might add, for you to come back. I don't know why you left, what I did, but it sure as hell is silent without you.

_"Can you see the dark?"_

You were my light Mihael. I don't know if you'll even understand that. You were a light for me, you made my day worthwhile. Yet you left, as fast as a flame dies down in a storm. Mihael, everything is so damn dark without you.

_"Can you fix the broken?"_

Can you really fix the broken? I swore for the longest time you could. You told me you could fix me, make me better, I believed you. I went along with your plan. You were like a band-aid, you only temporarily covered the wound. Now you're gone, and everything is making its way into the raw wound. It burns. You left me here broken, Mihael.

_"Can you feel... can you feel my heart?"_

Can you feel it Mihael? You took a part of it with you, I'm not sure you noticed. I just thought I'd tell you. You took a piece of my with you when you left. You took my heart with you. I hope you can feel that.

_"Can you help the hopeless?"_

I thought you helped me, poor hopeless me. You came into my life and made everything better. Gave me reason to live, to love. I was so hopeless before you, Mihael. I was convinced you helped the hopeless. Now I'm not so sure, as I lay here hopeless I'll ever see you again.

_"Well, I'm begging on my knees,"_

Did you hear that Mihael? I'm begging you please come back. I can't do this without you.

_"Can you save my bastard soul?"_

Can you do it Mihael? Save my soul? Save me. Please.

_"Will you wait for me?"_

You didn't I know that much. You left without me. You didn't wait for me to pack and join you. Hell, you didn't even wait for me to say goodbye.

_"I'm sorry brothers,_

_So sorry lover,_

_Forgive me father,_

_I love you mother."_

Brothers? There's nobody left for me. So sorry lover? I'm not the one that should be apologizing, Mihael. What this thing called a father? I'm sure as hell not asking for your forgiveness. I love you mother. You're the only one that actually cared.

_"I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone."_

I was scared to get close to you Mihael. Terrified I would get hurt. I wasn't wrong. But sitting here alone is just so much worse. I can't stand this.

_"I long for that feeling to not feel at all."_

I wouldn't have to feel the ache of my heart. Missing you. I wouldn't have to feel sad, mad, guilty. I don't have to feel its my fucking fault.

_"The higher I get, the lower I'll sink."_

It hurts more every time I think of you. I can't do this for much longer. It's killing me.

_"I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim."_

Mihael, help me. I'm drowning. The demons. They're winning.

_"Can you feel my heart?"_

Can you feel my heart, Mihael?

Can you...?

Can

you

love

me

...

- From, Mail, whatever I was too you.

P.S. Don't you worry your pretty little ass Mihael, I'm out of your way now. You won't have to be held back by me (as if you ever were). I have promptly removed myself from this situation, following this letter. I'd say I'm sorry, but it would just be empty words. You slowly stole my heart, ran off with it and then threw it under a train. I can't go on. I'm not sorry for doing this.

A final farewell, Mihael.

**I'm sure this isn't everyone's cup of tea but please be nice in your review (if you do review). Are you excited for Valentines Day? I'm not xD Maybe I'll try and write a little something for then. *hint* Something with Matt and Mello *hint* ;) But no promises, I have my two other stories, which I'm also currently working on the next chapters for both. **


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